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Shysta31

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>>> True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side <<<

Ok people.. this is on my mind right now.. so let me try to word this out... it might do ya some good to read it...

This summer has been crazy... People have changed sooooo much.. and Things have changed so much.. and change is good right? no this change shouldn't be going on... peaches wrote an entry quite some time ago about the class of '07.. we haven't lived up to what we should be... what has happened to us... Its like none of us are using our heads.. and im not talking about what we're out doing.. im talking about relationship wise... Everyone is alwayz fighting.. Nobody can trust anybody... None of us ever hang out anymore.. what is gonna come of us.. 

i dont want to make this all about sports.. but think about where its going to put us when we're out on the court.. or when we're out on the field.. yeah we can be like its dropped when we're playing.. but theres still the harshness... its gonna screw with us guys.. i dont care what anybody else believes anywhere.. but i know that we are capable of making state.. its more than just ability that takes you there.. its being able to get along on and off.. being able to know what the other person is going to do... having a connection that brings us together like nobody else would have...

see i know that we all have our reasons to be mad about whatever... but sometimes we have to be able to just drop them.. believe me.. i've thought alot about this.. and im not aiming at anyone imparticular im just saying.. if we were all as good friends as we thought.. and we were all as close as everyone else saw us.. then why can't we forget about things.. and it really doesn't even have to be like forgetting.. but rather put it aside.. i know what its like to lose trust in people.. but just because you had reason to lose it.. dont let that keep you from talkin altogether.. because if you let everything that everyone did keep you from being their friend.. we would all be friendless... we have to be able to forgive.. ya know maybe we'll never be as close as we were before.. but being able to stay friends thru everything... and talk things thru make us close than most people can say they've been... so maybe you dont trust your best friend anymore.. maybe you dont feel like you can talk to him/her about everything anymore.. maybe he/she betrayed you in ways you'd never imagined.. so dont trust them.. dont talk to them about everything.. but DONT stop being their friend...

Guys we need to realize how to handle things.... so maybe we're tired of being nice.. or maybe we're just fed up with people.. maybe the case is we just dont want to talk it out.. and we THINK we just dont care anymore.. deep down its not like that.. and no matter whats goin on in your life.. we can't let that interfere with handling things with other people.. we can't take how we're feeling about something else and use it for extra anger against someone else... 

Ha we all are gonna face drama.. there is no way anybody is ever gonna get away from drama.. but what is being mad.. and just forgetting about people gonna do? cause more drama.. maybe not for you.. but for other people.. and you dont like drama.. so do you think that the other people do..

see guys this is how i've put it together in my head.. and i might be wrong.. but work with me here.. none of us share exactly how we're feeling.. or exactly whats going on in our lives.. and maybe we try to just forget about it.. be we can't.. and keeping it inside is screwin w/ everything else that we do.. I see it like all of us tend to put our feelings and what we're gong thru in different places...

Hey ya know maybe im wrong about all that.. but right now thats what my head and heart is telling me.. maybe you guys dont agree.. hey maybe i didnt even get the point across that i needed too.. but now its out.. and im hoping that it makes sense and all this can stop... all the hostility.. all the going behind peoples backs.. all the talk.. all the everything...

ha maybe this is just me thinking.. i dont know.. but im out

Edit

Well i wanted to leave that up.. but needed to write more.. so yeah.. I'm so pissed off.. i hate this i really do.. nobody has any idea.. and hey maybe thats my fault but. if i did talk still nobody would understand.. but i do talk.. i talk to very few people.. the only person i want to talk to right at this moment.. i haven't talked to in about a week... so im like ahhhhh .. man if i dont get to talk to him today.. i just might go crazy.. i just dont want to talk to anyone else about this exact stuff right now... im so glad that i've got him.. hez my way of staying positive about everything really.. well kinda.. i dont realy know how to explain it.. but talking about him.. is keeping the other stuff from ruling my brain... GRRRRR

3 hours.. bored out of my mind..

Prolly will end up painting all day

Want to talk to zach..

Anybody wanna do something.. just call me or IM ill be on.. I'm sure

<3     Love     <3

I used to be so good at this staying up all day/night...

Now im like >> blah <<

If i dont find stuff to do today.. im going to be screwed..

I'm supposed to be running right now.. but Something came up..

Maybe im not meant to run

I kept Aaron and ben up all night.. yesss go me.. haha

Today i want to talk to zach.. not only talk to but.. like see.. touch.. smell..

lol you get the picture.. haha i make myself laugh..

mmmhmmm

man them guys are pretty funny guys...

Tonight was pretty fun.. and i wasn't even tired.. it was crazy

Wonder what would happen if i woke random people up..

Ahhhh who knows.. who cares.. not me.. doesn't sound like fun

I wish i had my car... a car so bad.. grrr it just makes me real.. grrrr

I want to talk.. Only to one person..

I realize that anymore/lately thats whats best for me

I think that'll help me out alot.. and im actually gonna do it.. crazy huh

So i'm sure ill become all emotional.. thats how i am.. grr..

Thats why i dont talk..

So yeah im bored and tired.. and im just talking about whats on my mind..

Wow when did i start making entries like this..

I have no idea.. I remember just paragraphs and stuff.. now im stuck to this

I ate some cream of wheat .. jewel made it.. so im definitely not hungry..

Found out some stuff yesterday... interesting... well it could be called that

..................I guess...

Chewing.. and smoking and all that stuff is gross.. and ill never do it..

And i'm still going and going and going.. nothing to say.. nothing to do..

It's only like 7Am.. thats crazy... nobody even gets up for another few hours

Ahhhh maybe ill sleep just for a little bit.. lol.. nah.. i can't do it

Ok this was not supposed to be this long.. what was i thinking

HaHa.. i definitely wasn't...

<3     LOVe     <3

My computer is going slow...

I hate that.. I dont feel like restarting though..

So I'm just gonna go read the yearbook and go to bed..

I'm tired..

Went to Kaylas that was fun.. We were in the car most the time..

HeHe

It was Me, Figg, Penn, Darbs, And K-La... fun stuff

I got to drive Penns car.. HeHe

I felt so loved... yep yep i miss driving.. I want my car back

So Kaleigh said she'd call me tomorrow.. Apparently she lives real close now

Really the one thing i really really want to do tomorrow is talk to Zach

I miss him sooo much.. like you have no idea.. and its only been like 5 dayz..

So now i will go dream sweet dreams.. hehe

<3     LoVe     <3

The sleep plan.. totally down the drain..

I can't do it.. I can't sleep.. I just keep thinking.. about everything

I'm wide awake.. I thought dev was coming to get me.. They're too slow

Wow so tonight ima stay up all night.. then start my sleeping early.. I hope